addictive books.

My body clock is screwed up. And I'm blaming this on my latest addiction -- books. Not the scholarly type of course, -scoffs- but the kind children/young adolescences read.

Up to this point I've never really liked a particular series of books because it meant that there would always something more to expect, another part that I would have to read, something like keeping up with chinese drama serials on tv where watching the first episode is like entering into a contract to promise to complete the rest of the series. Furthermore, I grew up hating science fiction/fantasy.  The exception seems to be the Harry Potter series. I've read every single novel, each in a single sitting, no matter how long it would take me, no matter how thick it grew, no matter how old I grew, I am a dedicated reader fan.

So when I was introduced to His Dark Materials, I was skeptical. But it turned out to be a freaking awesome book! Very dense, very tense, very addictive, I love it!

And then I was told to read Twilight. I was even more skeptical. But it turned out to be absolutely gripping! Yeah sure there were parts I wanted to roll my eyes, sometimes as often as the characters of Bella and Edward rolled theirs, but its themes aside, it was a page turner and highly addictive and attractive. I suppose like Edward's scent is to Bella? haha! I love it too!

Next, some people have suggested that I read the Susan Copper's The Dark is Rising series and Susan Collin's The Hunger Games series. I think I'm no longer such a skeptic so I'm looking forward to finding the time to read these new series.

But for now, let's just say I've got more than ten lengthy assignments to complete and uh, a dreaded pile of marking.

Book Depository: the cheapest way to buy books!

Books are expensive in Singapore. Period. I use to get my books from Borders as they never failed to diligently dole out generous coupons. I would head to Kinokuniya to browse first, and if I found a title I liked very much, I would hop across the road (to Borders) coupon in hand. Another book store I particularly like is Vivo City's Page One. In terms of titles, not so diverse, but in terms of different editions and publications of popular titles, they have quite a variety!  

Being the coward that I am, I've never really bought anything online. And being the lazy bum that I also am, I never really compared prices. 

And then one fine day, when I had to purchase a large quantity of books and money became tighter, I decided to check out online bookstores. 

I started with Singapore's very own.

(1) Open Trolley

Not bad as a concept. But the selection of books were rather small, stuff one could find at popular bookstore or at Harris. Furthermore, they were not significantly discounted. Their advantage though is that they are based in Singapore and the books would arrive in less than a week! 

(2) Amazon

Amazon's prices are competitive. But they have a very complex table of shipping charges. And I dislike tables with multiple rows, and columns, and figures. I know they are suppose to make things a lot clearer, but somehow, I don't get it. Furthermore, it seemed that when I added the shipping charges to my cart, my final price had increased exponentially! 

(3) Book Depository 

My favourite! And it is easy to see why. Firstly, they have a wonderful interface -- simple, clean, and very easy to use. Key in the title you are looking for, and several variants of the book pop out, displaying the cheapest edition to the most expensive. Furthermore, they are priced significantly lower than walk-in bookstores in Singapore. And best of all, shipping is free to many parts of the world! 

Crazy or what!

They have two websites though, a .com and a .uk. So far, I've found the .com to be marginally cheaper than the .uk. The not-so-good thing though is that the books take a rather long time to arrive. Orders take about 2 working days to be processed and then shipping (a deed undertaken by the notorious royal mail) takes about 7-10 working days, factor in weekends, and expect the books to arrive a month later! 

My first order was for a whopping 13 books! They came in drips and draps, most of them individually packed in a thickly padded white envelope. They were in pristine condition and their edges were still nice and sharp. My last 4 books arrived in one thick perforated cardboard box. These books were however not in tip top condition, their edges were fraying very slightly but they still looked and felt new. 

Because I was so in love with the service and discounts, I recommended it to G. And he in turned placed a 40USD order for three books --  the latest lonely planet guide to France and two photobooks. 

40USD is a steal! A lonely planet guide to France costs approximately 40SGD here, what more his pricey photobooks! 

Since I had so many packages arriving, my family got curious, and all of a sudden, they had book wish lists too! While my mother wanted a book on church flowers, my father had been intrigued by a comic series he had seen in Belgium. Church Flowers was retailing at 100SGD in Kinokuniya, but only 46USD on book depository. Similarly, a copy of Blake and Mortimer (in English) costs 19SGD here (and  hardly possible to find anyway), but only approximately 7USD online. Of course I could not resist picking out a book and so I choose a hard cover book on greek mythology for children. I had seen it in Kinokuniya retailing for 60SGD but it was only going for 17USD. 

What sealed the deal was that we could opt to pay in Euros. Very Swell, since the USD is appreciating against the Singapore dollar while the Euro looks like it'll be nose diving for awhile. 

I love the wonderful vibes of a good bargain. 

"bad teacher"

I've been waiting for this ever since a colleague showed me the trailer. Finally manage to sneek in a wee bit of time to watch this movie and Mean Girls 2. 

I enjoyed it thoroughly! The first few scenes really resonated with me especially when she put on movie after movie for her kids to watch and they all looked as drugged as she was. That and how money always talks. I expected it to degenerate into some soppy story of bad teacher who works only for money turn wonderful-altruistic-teacher of the year. And was pleasantly surprise that it did not, well, at least not entirely in the way it usually does! 

I'm probably going to finally watch Alice in Wonderland next since I'm right now also reading the novel (which I've found quite hilarious though some bits give me such a headache sometimes. I hope I eventually finish the entire story since this is my 6746790th attempt) And afterwards I'll watch Du Levande which some of my friends tell me is quite funny and entertaining. 

"In and feed, And let that usher a more serious deed"

After class today, I started to read a comedy about a magician who had sold his soul to the devil. And oddly enough, as the familiar spirit was returning to his 'infernal mansion', I thought of a bowl of chickpeas sitting in my fridge and two large packets of lady fingers.

So I put all 109 pages down and went into my brother's room. He was pouring over a large stack of notes, all of which had the words 'cancer biology' imprinted on its top-right hand corner. I hesitated a little. I should limit my transgressions to myself, I thought.

But then I soon saw that he also had a small youtube clip playing on his laptop screen that I had not noticed at first, of a man looking very smug as he blended an iphone4. Transgressors come in pairs! We walked into mum's kitchen, transgressing yet again, opened a yellowed cardboard box, and hauled out her 10 year old blender to make some hummus and then two more portions of tiramisu all with phantasmagorical recipes we thought would make fantasmagorical food.

We'll see how these taste like in the morning. Sweet dreams! 

And the award goes to ...

After a long wait, the tender has finally been awarded! Work on the land will begin soon.

How many more years will I have left to prance around before calling at the port of responsibility? Not many I think. So I must seize the day!

My most favourite picture shot taken with the S95. This is Cat Cat village in Sapa more than 1500m above sea-level. 

"Did he enjoy being alive? I wonder now. He was not a joyful person; but then, neither was he miserable. I should think he was a genuine stoic, one of those who do not attach overmuch importance to themselves, who are emotionally uninvolved, content with their limitations, their dark corners. I wanted to get to know the old man better, to sound him out on the immense questions involved in roasting peanuts all his life; but it's too late now. Today his dark corner was deserted; the old man had vanished; the coolies had carried him down to the cremation ground.

'He died in his sleep,' said the tea-shop owner. 'He was very old.'

Very old. sufficient reason to die.

But that corner is very empty, very dark, and I know that whenever I pass it I will be haunted by visions of the old peanut vendor, troubled by the questions I failed to ask." 

- Notes from a Small Room

Oranges in No Man's Land

I'm usually not a fan of children's literature, but I decided to put aside all prejudice for the sake of my kiddos -- I hope to convert a few errant ones into readers and book lovers -- one of the most effective ways is through story telling. But first, I must get my story right.

So I sat down with one of Elizabeth Laird's novels, pulled away the shards of cynicism shrouding my eyes, and immersed myself in Lebanon thirty years ago, when a civil war raged in Beirut.

Ayesha, a girl of not more than ten is thrown out of  her home together with her granny and her two brothers as bomb shells hit the residential building they've lived in all their lives, killing her mother in the process. Together, the fragile family flee across the green line where a kindly lady takes them into her "beautiful flat where rich people would have lived" except that "all the windows had all blown out, and there were gaping holes in the walls where shells had blasted through".

Soon, Ayesha's grandmother's health deteriorates as she runs out of medication. Ayesha takes it upon herself to race across no man's land, into the other side of Lebanon right into enemy territory, where her accent betrays her apparent allegiance, to see Dr. Leila, the only woman whom she knows can help granny.

I'm sure most or all of my nine and ten year old kiddos will enjoy this story. It's a celebration of the human spirit, and there are many poignant moments that allow adult and kiddo readers alike to crawl into Ayesha's skin, keeping them riveted. All this is packaged within the usual "growing-up" schema that nine and ten year olds are used too, complete with a happy ending, making it a rather wholesome reading experience overall.

I also particularly liked the symbol of an orange, a freshly plucked fruit of luxury in wartorn Lebanon, offered to Ayesha by a kindly boy and his father on the other side who could not tell that she was 'an enemy' and then subsequently devoured by Ayesha, bringing her comfort.

Also, a lot of fresh imagery and similes, like this angry bird one which made me chuckle a little.

I heard a strange noise behind me and looked to see. A gust had whipped up some old blue plastic bags, which were flying through the air like demented birds.

Paul Bowles's The Sheltering Sky

I've a big bag of novels fresh from the discounted shelves of Borders collecting dust on my shelf. Just after I got back from Morocco, at a big Borders sale, I finally caved in and bought myself a book I had been long eyeing.

So far, the novel, like Morocco's vast expanse of landscape is overwhelming - flowery words streaming in and out of consciousness, I love it but will it sustain my ever shortening attention span?

I must strive to set aside a part of the day for 'winding down' to the tune of prancing prose. New Goals: at least 2 to 3 novels a month and 1 movie/film/documentary per week, my to-read and to-watch list is ever-growing.

Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go

I'm finally done with Kazuo Ishiguro's novel "Never Let Me Go". I started reading this novel more than a month ago, but work and the internet really got in the way of my progress and it sat on my shelf, waiting as my interest waned.

While cleaning my bookshelf this afternoon, I realized my bookmark wedged between the pages and started from where I had left off. I'm glad I did. "Never Let Me Go" is a beautiful novel with dark themes of repression, cloning, creativity, human life, freedom and personal choice. Katy H. and Tommy D. are amongst many other clones modelled on "trash", brought into the world as commodities to serve the needs of a population eager for science to conduct miracles on the sick and the dying with little regard for what was to become of these creations. 

Most people categorize the novel as a dystopian text, but I believe it is also a celebration of life and the human being's capacity to create and love in return - even if we were born into a system that we cannot escape from, the question of our lives should not cause us existential angst; instead continue to create with our hearts and show that even commodities have soul. 

"Look at you both now! I'm so proud to see you both. You built your lives on what we gave you. You wouldn't e who you are today if wed not protected you You wouldn't have become absorbed in your lessons, you wouldn't have lost yourself in your art and your writing. Why should you have done, knowing what lay in store for each of you? You would have told us it was all pointless and how could we have argued with you?"

They've made a movie out of it as well and I had a peek at the trailer, I think it looks it'd be awesome! :)

"Marginalia"

I was reading "Book Lovers Fear Dim Future for Notes in the Margin" and I thought back to how my friends use to (they still do!) chide me for writing in the margins! And how even my colleagues gave me dirty looks of disgust when I confessed that sometimes, I scribble my thoughts in the margins. But hey, now there's a magnifique article published and written by authoritative source citing people in the book lovers who are lamenting the demise of "notes in the margin".  ah-ha!

Marginalia

Sometimes the notes are ferocious, skirmishes against the author raging along the borders of every page in tiny black script. If I could just get my hands on you, Kierkegaard, or Conor Cruise O'Brien, they seem to say, I would bolt the door and beat some logic into your head. Other comments are more offhand, dismissive - "Nonsense." "Please!" "HA!!" - that kind of thing. I remember once looking up from my reading, my thumb as a bookmark, trying to imagine what the person must look like why wrote "Don't be a ninny" alongside a paragraph in The Life of Emily Dickinson. Students are more modest needing to leave only their splayed footprints along the shore of the page. One scrawls "Metaphor" next to a stanza of Eliot's. Another notes the presence of "Irony" fifty times outside the paragraphs of A Modest Proposal. Or they are fans who cheer from the empty bleachers, Hands cupped around their mouths. "Absolutely," they shout to Duns Scotus and James Baldwin. "Yes." "Bull's-eye." "My man!" Check marks, asterisks, and exclamation points rain down along the sidelines. And if you have managed to graduate from college without ever having written "Man vs. Nature" in a margin, perhaps now is the time to take one step forward. We have all seized the white perimeter as our own and reached for a pen if only to show we did not just laze in an armchair turning pages; we pressed a thought into the wayside, planted an impression along the verge. Even Irish monks in their cold scriptoria jotted along the borders of the Gospels brief asides about the pains of copying, a bird signing near their window, or the sunlight that illuminated their page- anonymous men catching a ride into the future on a vessel more lasting than themselves. And you have not read Joshua Reynolds, they say, until you have read him enwreathed with Blake's furious scribbling. Yet the one I think of most often, the one that dangles from me like a locket, was written in the copy of Catcher in the Rye I borrowed from the local library one slow, hot summer. I was just beginning high school then, reading books on a davenport in my parents' living room, and I cannot tell you how vastly my loneliness was deepened, how poignant and amplified the world before me seemed, when I found on one page A few greasy looking smears and next to them, written in soft pencil- by a beautiful girl, I could tell, whom I would never meet- "Pardon the egg salad stains, but I'm in love." Billy Collins

across the causeway and back

I don't work on Tuesdays. And in a rare alignment of the stars, G did not have to work as well. It was the first day of the official school term here in Singapore and we knew that families and officer workers would have made the dreaded passage across the causeway, leaving the both of us starry-eyed lovers (not) free to wander across at leisure.

On a good day like this Tuesday, one only needs less than an hour to get from Central Singapore to the fringe of Johor Bahru. There are in general two bus companies with services plying the Singapore-Johor Bahru route for Woodlands or Kranji MRT station: SBS and TIBS. We chose TIBS although it was slightly more pricey because our experience told us that TIBS tends to be more reliable, speedier, more comfy, less crowded and more 'gung-ho' (risk-taking) drivers. "Risk-taker" might not be the ideal adjective to look out for when selecting a bus company let alone a driver, but when the route in question is the ghastly woodlands-johor causeway, you need gusty drivers who will do everything inside and outside the rule book to get their passengers to their destination.

Our journey was a smooth one and slightly less than an hour later we found ourselves in the cool air-condition comfort of City Square Mall (Johor Bahru). It is not the most exciting of malls but it does have less pricey shops and a Cathay Cinema as well as international outlets such as Mango, Coffee Bean, Starbucks, Buskin Robins and City Chain. Cheap, delicious food is the main draw for me in Johor Bahru as although the ringgit is not so strong against the (Singapore) dollar, international outlets usually have price tags that reflect this and eventually work out to be the same. In fact, some things such as SWATCH watches cost a whole lot more in JB. The only advantageous thing was that watch shops in JB are very updated and they sell the latest models unlike those in Singapore. As for the coffee outlets and international eateries, expect prices to be slightly lower than that of Singapore's.

Our first stop was to a little "chinatown" area to the left of City Square for our favourite bowl of wan ton mee.

The couple who mans the stall are infinitely generous with their helpings.

We braced the heat (for some reason it always seems a lot hotter in JB than in Singapore although we are mere kilometres apart) and made a beeline for the Cathay Cineplax where our 1:30pm tickets for Fair Game was waiting for us. Again for a reasons unknown to us, Fair Game (released in the first week of Nov) has not made its way to the Republic's shores.

Anyhow, I was shocked to learn that the movie was largely based on factual events and felt that on a whole it was rather well executed, gripping, informative and entertaining. But we all know that movies tend towards idealistic solutions to life's very complex problems based on the premise that all viewers like a good story with loose ends tied up or ... a worthy sequel in the making. This film seemed to convey the sense that Truth had ultimately prevailed and the individual and her American family and husband had transcended the layers of paper work and red tape to have her voice heard all over America and the world. It is as if the film were a testimony to the strength of America and its democracy, an assurance that they were still after all that shebang, a FREE nation. Afterall, humans make mistakes, don't they?

the public and the private

Shortly after our movie date, G and I roamed the malls. Surprisingly, I found some gems ... I mean, I never ever manage to buy anything in Johor Bahru so this came as a pleasant shock to me! :)

Shortly after my last post about Anna Sui purses, I realized how exorbidant Anna Sui purses really cost as I was happy to stumble upon a chic bag shop selling (what I presume) are ordinary purses with the Anna Sui label sewn on. This was only for 5SGD!

I also bought for myself three huge pairs of earrings. I've an weak spot for earrings and over the years, I've amass quite a serious collection, never really having the heart to throw away any of these precious jewels.  I thought these three simple but elegant pieces would go well with dresses and gowns for more formal affairs, parties and weddings. Plus they cost me only slightly less than 6SGD for all three pairs. What a steal!

One of the other things I truly enjoy about City Square is their MPH bookstore. The selection is not really that great, but once in awhile I stumble upon special finds. I usually try to resist giving in to yet another book purchase but I succumbed to two purchases which I thought were utterly necessary for ANY respectable bookshelf!

I bought this thick collection for a little less than 18SGD. Friends will know that the new Sherlock (BBC ONE) series has cast a deadly spell on me and I seem to be hooked to my beloved detective. I have several of his books at home but alas, not all of them! I'm well-aware I could get these stories free off the internet, but electronic books and I have not experienced any sort of success beyond page 1 yet.

My second pick was Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby". I've wanted to buy this novel on a number of occasions but have never done it because I like the story, but the prices have always been slightly more than what I would pay for a classic which an ugly cover. This exact edition cost 9.90dollars here in Singapore but only 3 dollars in JB. I saw my chance and I grabbed it!

This, I promise will be the end of my book buying! I've a tonne of fresh novels to read since I went a little bonkers in borders two months ago. I hope the kino. sales do not hit our shores too soon.

Sherlock (BBC ONE)

I'm a big fan of the Conan Arthur Doyle's series. His Sherlock stories are so quick-paced and exhilarating that I've always completed each of his stories in one sitting. They are also very much more satisfying than the long-drawn out mysteries of  Wilkie Collins's. So, I  was very happy to hear that the people behind Doctor Who were updating Sherlock! I've always enjoyed CSI, The Mentalist and House-typed shows, so I knew for sure, that I would definitely enjoy Sherlock and dedicated most of my flight time on Emirates watching it.

Inbetween nursing a terrible cough and flu, I spent a good part of my day re-watching Sherlock and Watson roam the streets of London weeding out bombers, psychopaths and even a chinese drug smuggling ring. I love the Professor Moriarty  touch and I can't wait for next Season's (which sadly will only be out autumn 2011) episodes to be out!

The Fake Trade

My school chose an extract from Deborah Fallow's new book Dreaming in China to teach students about the nature of language. I really enjoyed the extract and it has spurred me to look for the book in the public library. The book explores the way the "minilist" Chinese language is intertwined with its culture - the cultural revolution emphasized the importance of the well-being of society as a whole over the individual. It was the group and the team that would benefit from the labour of each individual. As such, the pronouns in chinese language feature less in speech and writing, obviously in complete opposition to the English Language where the "I" is at the center of democracy and the source of capitalism.

At a restaurant with friends, a delicate choreography will have one person carefully select a few choice morsels from the common bowl and place them on a neighbour's plate. Itis a small, perfect gesture. Another person will pour tea or beer for everyone else before even considering pouring his own. And then, another will announce, "Gei Wo yan!". literally "give me salt!" with no sign of a plese or thank you involved. I'm always taken aback and, after so many years of training children in Western table manners, bite my tongue to stifle a "say please!"

While preparing for this class, I scoured the net for youtube clips and tangents that would "hook" my students. They are at an age where they know their brands better than I do, their eyes glazed by the glitz and glamour of haute couture strutting down the cat walk, so I picked knock-off goods as a way in. This documentary -  "the fake trade" - by channel 4 was very useful because it showed the far reach of counterfeit goods - that they were no longer limited to small market stalls in asia hawking imitation LVs, Hermes, Pradas, Burberry but also to the US and the UK, affecting even pharmaceutical companies - even nature has lost its monopoly - chicken eggs (once a "product" of nature) have been counterfeited.

These companies had built massive factories in China in the 1990s, sold to prospect of higher profits and lower wages per worker. The documentary reckons that one in four parts (of a car/ airplane etc) are counterfeits even when we buy them from legitimate suppliers. This is scary - Quantas has been in the news recently for repeated engine failures on many of its airplanes - were any of these parts 'supplied by' engine manufacturer, Rolls Royce made in parallel Rolls Royce factories in China and sold as real parts?  The line between what's real and what's not is blurring; China is the new frontier.

The 2 segment documentary can be found at the following links. They have been divided into four parts of 24 minutes each.

http://www.disclose.tv/action/viewvideo/33409/the_fake_trade_1_2/

http://www.disclose.tv/action/viewvideo/33410/the_fake_trade_2_2/

http://www.disclose.tv/action/viewvideo/33411/the_fake_trade_new___/

http://www.disclose.tv/action/viewvideo/33443/The_Fake_Trade_New_____2_2

Title: Dreaming in China
By: Deborah Fallow

Title: The Fake Trade
By: Channel 4.

my own library

I love my family and I love my home so much that there can only be one reason why I might wish to get hitched as soon as possible - I want my own home.

Specifically, I want my own room with which I can re-model turning the dullest, tiniest HDB-esque-room into a wonderful, sparkling library. My library will be filled with books of every genre (chinese books will be banned) stored safely in low humidity, custom-made cupboards away from the natural elements, to be preserved in their mint condition for as long as it is possible. It will also have a wonderful cabinet filing system where lecture notes and readings will be sorted into deep, bright color-coded files  for easy reference.

The library will feature a a huge work table made from the oldest oak tree. It will have a deep patina finish, showing off its grains as they dance gracefully to the silver of sunshine seeping through bright floral curtains. Taking the center stage is a 27 inch imac attached to a high-powered double back up system partitioned into two just in case the first half fails.

Back-up systems are important because they hold within them one of my most valuable possessions - my collection of digital photos and movies. May they stay with me for all eternity! Seated next to the imac, is a mini-sized industry printer that comes equipped with a feeder - a useful function for every teacher.

Adorning the room with its charms is a delicate chandelier, intricately shaped and fastened to the ceiling, casting a soft glow over the library as daylight recedes.

I love my library! And I'll share it with you, G!

a new notebook!

Some boyfriends spoil their girlfriends by buying them fresh flowers and stuffed teddy bears wrapped in baby pink crinkly paper, bundled into a bouquet.

Mine bought me my very first moleskin note book!

This is one of the rare gifts that he has made to me as we don't quite believe in gifting gifts to each other when we can buy our own things for ourselves, and probably make better, more useful choices.

So I was pleasantly surprise when G handed me a rectangular parcel.

Although I do feel its a bit of a waste to be spending so much money on a notebook, I love this gift very very much!

It's one of those things you secretly hope-to-own but would never ever spend a penny (of your own) on it as it seems like such a waste of good money. In fact, the most expensive notebook I own is 1/8th the price of a moleskin, and hey, it essentially performs the same function, doesn't it?

Anyhow, I was curious and ripped open the packaging as soon as I got home, anxious to discover the "feel the moleskin". And I was surprise to find that it sat in my hand quite differently from the other notebooks I've own: the binding is not too thick; the strap is equally thin and sits on the cover snugly; the fresh crisp pages flip open with relative ease (as though I've thumped through the book several times); it comes with an awesome expandable pocket that would be really useful for storing tiny note slips; each page sits in its places without threatening to flip over (wow!! i like this feature the most!)).

The verdict?

I like it very much though I'm still unconvinced I would pay for this!

Glenn says that its for me to pen my research notes into it (when I finally get down to it, of course!) haha!

that's really sweet.

Red for good luck, I say.

I do hope my plans to enroll in a Masters course in English Literature go through! Thank you, G! <3

glorious books!

A month ago, I had to buy new furniture for my room and so I trawled the internet for ideas. And guess what I found?

this lovely website

And I can't tell you how many hours I will now spend drooling over this site. It's a visual feast!

Here are some of the shelves I bookmarked.

Craving books shelves out of concrete walls -- not only does this save space, it looks really good too.
this is definitely an idea to keep and mull over
Open shelves like these look pretty, but they are mighty good dust collectors too!

I love this shelf! It so quirky! Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like it would hold up my kind of books!

I would really really really like this! :)
Perhaps throw a couple of comfy cushions on the upper loft and there you go!

pictures from http://bookshelfporn.com

Now this is what I would call a real book shelf. One that is stocked with books upon books. I wonder what genre they are of? The ones on the higher shelves look incredibly boring, they have very thick rounded spines that remind me of Science and Math textbooks filled with sums and formula I never could comprehend.